"Live bravely and boldly.
Those negative thoughts - the ones that come from doubt, from insecurity, from frustration - even if they are true, will never serve your highest good.
Take mental account of them if you must, and make preparations and adjustments if you need to, but then set them aside.
Create positive thoughts.
Create positive feelings.
Change the stories that are playing in your head.
You are largely responsible for co-creating your future.
It is already happening.
The question is whether you are participating in the way that you really want to.
A mostly blank canvas lies before you, what will you paint?" - TJS, 9/12/15
It has been a while since I've posted. If you have been following along on Facebook, you know why...
The last six weeks have been a whirlwind for me and Rose as we packed up the Subaru and road-tripped to Colorado Springs to live and train at altitude. In the process of getting there we had a "Tour of Former Spartan World Champions," stopping at Jenny Tobin's, Cody Moat's, and Hobie Call's. All of them are such fun and inspiring people.
When we got to COS we hit the AirBnB circuit, moving around to different parts of town. After three weeks, I can say that I learned the city pretty well. While it does not shine in the areas of food, coffee, culture, retail, etc (compared to other large cities), it is a jewel when it comes to trail and mountain access. Seriously, it is amazing. For our last two weeks there we moved up to Woodland Park. It's only 20-25 minutes up the valley from the Springs, but it is 2000 feet higher in elevation, so it was a good place to hang out as Rose got closer to racing Tahoe.
Most of our days were full of workouts, with a pinch of work and downtime sprinkled in. It is a privileged life (we understand), but also one that we worked for in the last 3-5 years to have. Despite all of our hard work, however, we still could not have done it without the generosity of so many people (Nancy Weintraub, Bruce and Jody Derington, etc etc etc). We are both so grateful.
I will write more about my time in Colorado in a later post, as it deserves it's own entry. Colorado as always been my "spiritual home." My "terrain of the soul." And my time spent there on this trip was no different.
Rose and I had an amazing time in Squaw Valley at the Spartan Race World Championships. But rather than cram too many subjects in to one blog, I will write about race related stuff on my Race Sherpa OCR Facebook page.
You see, this six to seven weeks has been "the gap." The shoulder season between my diagnosis/plan and my potential surgery. You might notice that I continue to use the word potential. I understand the power of our thoughts and beliefs, so I choose to feed that narrative even though I understand that the "reality" is that the surgery is more likely than not.
This "gap" has been a time of reflection and investigation for me. A time to explore my internal state and the external possibilities, however unlikely they may be. It has also been a time of re-connection to all of the things that I love and am most passionate about.
Ever since I was young I have been fascinated by things like placebo, spontaneous remission, nocebo, voodoo hexes, and the like. How does it all happen? I can't say that I know that answer, but I feel like I am getting closer to understanding.
I had assumed that perhaps my 25+ years of Eastern philosophy study might play a role in helping with that understanding, but to be honest, it has been my hypnotherapy background that has provided the most insight.
I continue to be fascinated by how events that appear to be unrelated and disparate at the time seem to weave and blend together in to a cohesive fabric when looking backwards at them. One could argue that this is a trick of the mind...to find a pattern based on current thoughts and beliefs...but I'm not sure we should dismiss it so easily. It is equally likely that we just have new information that allows us to see the connections. How you frame the story is up to you. It's what you do with it that counts the most.
As far as a medical update, I am scheduled for an MRI and an appointment with a surgeon in Omaha on October 23rd. I am considering Omaha over Seattle as far as where to proceed, but I have not decided for sure yet. I will know more after those appointments.
In my next post I will write about my time in Colorado and all of the "inner work" I have done in the last couple of months.
Thanks for following...
"The Universe doesn't hear what you think; the Universe hears how you feel."